JAAM

evabadon:

"when women wear makeup they’re basically lying to us" well i don’t see why i’m being blamed for a man stupid enough to really think i have red and gold eyelids

starllex:

when your mom is yelling at you to do more chores while you’re doing chores and you’re there like 

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gnarly:

when the red light just turns green and somebody is already beepin at you

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